Dear Matthew
I am afraid I’m much too important to write notes to people like you.
Please remember that I am very very very very very very important.
However, there is no John Cleese fan club (despite my importance) because they were all murdered in 1983 by Michael Palins’ fan club.
I enclose a photograph to remind you of my importance.
Yours sincerely,

—John Cleese, carta a um jovem fã em 1980