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Artigos etiquetados “amizade

Inevitable

Publicado em 19/08/2021

Old age brings its own peculiar terrors. No longer is it possible to believe, as we all did in our younger days, that we are indestructible and will live for ever. We have seen too many friends and family die. We have begun to experience the inevitable frailty of the human body. We lack the energy and the stamina to do what we once did.

—Robin Dunbar, Friends, Little Brown, 2021

On Hold

Publicado em 13/08/2021

Romantic relationships as well as friendships result from our deliberately putting reality on hold: we place a halo round the individual concerned. Not to put too fine a point on it, it is not another person that we fall in love with, but an avatar that we have created in our mind.

—Robin Dunbar, Friends, Little Brown, 2021

Switch Off

Publicado em 08/08/2021

(…) falling in love, or just become besotted with anyone or anything (including your pet dog), seem to switch off the rational capacities of the brain that would normally allow us to evaluate other people and situations more critically and sceptically. Of course, this makes it possible for us to give ourselves wholly and unstintingly to the object of our affections without being too shy and retiring or too critical of their behaviour. In a word, your rational thinking centres are being deliberately switched off so that you don’t ask too many questions and give up to early.

—Robin Dunbar, Friends, Little Brown, 2021

Believe

Publicado em 02/08/2021

A sample of a thousand American adults found that on average people claimed to tell around 550 lies a year — equivalent to slightly more than one and a half lies a day! But not everyone behaved the same. Nearly a quarter of all the lies were told by just 1 per cent of the people sampled. In other words, the 1 per cent of habitual liars were telling nearly forty lies a day — thought most are likely to be of a rather minor nature. This at least suggests that habitual liars are fairly rare, with most people telling the truth most of the time. In other studies, 92 per cent of people sampled admitted to lying at some point to their romantic partner, while 60 per cent of women and 34 per cent of men said they had lied to obtain sex. Of course, that mighty have been only once over a period of many years, so that the average frequency could be quite low. Nonetheless, it is clear that the temptation is there. Even in experimental games run in the laboratory, people were two to three times more likely to lie if the game was designed so that there was a benefit to be gained from lying. It seems that while most people are fairly honest, a small number of people can’t help themselves, and probably become such habitual liars that they actually come to believe their own lies.

—Robin Dunbar, Friends, Little Brown, 2021